Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
