roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
