the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
