i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
