i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I need a burrito and a hug.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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