Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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