I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Need sex. Gaining weight.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
