Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
