i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
