marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
