I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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