STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
