If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
