Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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