I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
