well you can't waste a boner
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
