I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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