I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
