Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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