I am in a vortex of obligation.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
