First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
