Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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