Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
