yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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