Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
