Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
