Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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