I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
