i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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