Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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