Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize