When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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