Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
