God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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