By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize