I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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