felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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