But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
