I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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