Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
