who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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