just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
