I love black thongs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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