I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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