there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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