i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
