I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
