brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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