Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize