I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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