vagina is talking i cant
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize