Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
