I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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