What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
