I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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