google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
