there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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