I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
