I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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