Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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