There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize