i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
